To be or Not To be (on time that is)

I know, I know you don't have a clue about this but just wait a minute.

I come from a long line of sufferers of a not so popular ailment, "Chronic Ontimeness". Yea, I made that word up, but I don't know the right one so live with it. "Chronic Ontimeness" is defined as the habitual and uncontrollable urge to be on time or maybe even a little early to a planned event. When I was growing up they even taught this concept in school. Be late for a class and see what happens. Not on time for work? ... you get he idea. I agree that it takes some planning to be at an event when you are supposed to be there, but it isn't rocket science.

I patted myself on the back for years for being very good at being on time to all the events I attended. Then, I married someone suffering from "Chronic Tardiness". You know, they will absolutely never ever be anywhere for any reason on time. Let me go ahead and put in my disclaimer. I love my wife with all my heart and being and would lay down my life for her, but..... I cannot for the life of me understand why it is so hard to get somewhere on time. Early on, I asked why she wouldn't get somewhere on time, Her answer, "My mother said you should never be early because the host was most likely running behind and you would embarrass them." HUH? I wish I could tell you that I have been able to reprogram her but that wouldn't be the truth. I wish I could tell you that she changed just so we wouldn't argue about it. Nope! I wish I could tell you that time worked to my advantage. Not on your life! SHE IS WOMAN!


Those who suffer from "Chronic Tardiness" do not suffer alone. This disorder seems to have infected a whole slew of people and spreading at an epidemic rate. And not only women, shoot, men have bought into this. It has become fashionable, "chic". But what about the poor people that are sitting there ready to begin and not all have arrived. Oh, right!


Those of us who suffer from "Chronic Ontimeness" hold out little hope that a cure will be found for "Chronic Tardiness". We will continue to suffer the pains of this ill-mannered disease. Will we suffer in silence? Likely not, but suffer we will until that cure is found.